I have spoken of it before in this blog but I feel like it can't really be said enough - The Queen must be an artist. It is essential for The Queen to deliver their message to the world in a way that they find accessible & are able to relate to. There is no greater tool for that type of communication than the arts. While it can be argued that being The Queen is an art in itself, it is not one that everybody is going to be able to relate to, as not everybody has come to realize yet that they are able to be The Queen, as well.
That having been said, I have been focusing on working creatively a lot lately. In particular, I have been working with the art form that I have always felt closest to/been most passionate about: Songwriting. Since I have been working in this medium so much lately, (& making great strides in a new direction in it,) I felt that it would be a good idea to share even more of my recent works.
"Half A Life"
Your face has lost it's sparkle
Your smile has lost it's shine
I've lost the comfort of feeling like
You would always be a friend of mine
Your eyes have lost their luster
Your voice has lost it's tune
I've lost the comfort of feeling like
You & I were immune
It seems like you don't care anymore
But there must be a better way
To make it through the day
It seems like nowhere's an open door
But there must be a better way
To make it through the day
Your days with me are numbered
Your actions keep telling me so
I've lost the comfort of feeling like
I would never want to let you go
It seems like you don't care anymore
But there must be a better way
To make it through the day
It seems like nowhere's an open door
But there must be a better way
To make it through the day
Cos' all you're doing now is living half a life
All you're doing now is barely enough to just survive
All you're doing now is living out a lie
& all I'm doing now is watching you slowly die
It seems like you don't care anymore
But there must be a better way
To make it through the day
It seems like nowhere's an open door
But there must be a better way
To make it through the day
**************
This song was written in the style of many of my older songs, lyrically, but in terms of the melody and general flow of the song, when being sung, it is very different for me. The general concept of this song is simply watching a person change and, even more, watching your own feelings about them change. These lyrics are very personal to me and have been directly inspired by a situation in my life recently. Also, I just have to add, my favorite line in the song is in the chorus where it says, "it seems like nowhere's an open door." That line, to me, says it all. It's like saying, we are right on the verge of nothingness and it is just waiting to happen.
"Addicted To Your Touch"
You make everything feel so sexy
But everything you do wrecks me
& I'm never coming back again
You keep me feeling so erotic
But like Britney said, you're toxic
& I'm much better off in the end
It's just right now I'm craving you
My body is aching for the things that you do
I've let others touch me but they never get through
Nobody else can get to me quite like you
But it's not enough
It's never enough
I have to resist you
Even if it's tough
It's not enough
It's never enough
I can't keep coming back to you
Even if I'm addicted to your touch
Your loving's so exotic
& I just can't help but want it
But I know I have to give it up
Everything feels much better with you
But I know I have to quit you
Cos it's never gonna be enough
It's just right now I'm craving your lips
My body is aching for the way that you kiss
I've let others touch me but you've got a special twist
Nobody else can get to me like this
But it's not enough
It's never enough
I have to resist you
Even if it's tough
It's not enough
It's never enough
I can't keep coming back to you
Even if I'm addicted to your touch
You've got me acting like a fiend
Theres something about you I need
You've got me stuck in between
But it doesn't mean a thing
Cos every word you say is a lie
I can't see who you are inside
Theres so much that you have to hide
You've got me living half a life
& It's not enough
It's never enough
I have to resist you
Even if it's tough
It's not enough
It's never enough
I can't keep coming back to you
Even if I'm addicted to your touch
***************
The first thing I have to mention about this song is the fact that it references the song before it, except it's looking at it from the opposing point of view. I like this song a lot because it reminds me of some of the style of pop I listened to in my teen years. Melodically, it is very reminiscent of the type of song that could have been on Mandy Moore's first album or something like Backstreet Boys or Five. It's like that slightly more edgy pop with an urban twist that has been severely lacking in the music industry recently. Lyrically, on the other hand, this has much more of an adult vibe, reminiscent of some of the dance artists at the time, like Kristine W or Amber. The whole thing is very early 2000s to me.
"Lost In This Memory"
You touch me & I want to die
It will never be this good again
Teardrops falling from my eyes
It's all coming to an end
All we have is right now
It will have to be enough
I'll make it through somehow
But I'll forever be
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
There is nothing I can do
Lost in this memory of you
You kiss me & again I fall
I'm starting out over again
I'd willingly give up my all
To stop this coming to an end
All we have is this moment
All we have is here & now
I won't allow any hope in
But I'll forever be
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
There is nothing I can do
Lost in this memory of you
You touch me & I want to die
I want to fall to my knees & cry
I want to give up all of my life
I just can't say goodbye
You touch me & I fall apart
It's like a knife right through my heart
Why must we finish what we start?
Don't leave me in the dark
All we have is right now
It will have to be enough
I'll make it through somehow
But I'll forever be
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
There is nothing I can do
Lost in this memory of you
All we have is this moment
All we have is here & now
I won't allow any hope in
But I'll forever be
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
Lost in this memory of you
There is nothing I can do
Lost in this memory of you
***************
This is, by far, my favorite of the new songs that I have written. Immediately, it feels reminiscent of something from "Out Of Control" era Girls Aloud to me, which is a sound that I completely fell in love with, but lyrically it is a very personal song to me. This song was inspired by a time in my life when I was desperately in love with somebody who I knew was only with me for a limited time. I spent a very long time lost in that memory.
So, that is that. I really feel as though I am kind of at the top of my game as a songwriter, which is great because there are some very interesting possibilities coming up for me that will require my very best. I know that I can rise to the occasion. After all, that's just what The Queen does
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